Maybe it’s not about coping.
Maybe it’s about allowing.
But allowing can feel scary. It can feel like welcoming in a wave — and wondering, what if I’m not able to ride it?
Grief can hit when you least expect it. You see a photo or watch an old video and suddenly it feels as though you’ve gone backwards a few steps. The grief feels raw again. Your pet feels so close and yet their absence feels so big.
But there is a difference between coping and allowing.
Coping can sometimes feel like resistance. Like trying to get through it, manage it or make it go away.
Allowing means leaning into what is there.
You surrender.
You let yourself miss them. You let yourself love them. You let yourself grieve.
And sometimes, simply becoming aware of what you are feeling can already bring a little calm to your nervous system.
Here are seven of my favourite ways to navigate the loss of a beloved pet.
1. Find something that brings you comfort in the moment
My forever favourite, of course, is The Luna Deck.
I created this set of 37 wisdom cards specifically for those moments when pet grief feels overwhelming. You pick the card you feel drawn to in that particular moment and allow its message to meet you exactly where you are.
Sometimes we don’t need another explanation of grief. We just need something that makes us feel a little less alone in it.
The Luna Deck contains many of the things that helped me navigate my own grief, but here are a few more practices you can bring into your everyday life.
2. Talk to your pet
Talk to your pet as though they were still present.
Tell them what you miss. Ask them questions. Ask for support. Tell them about your day.
And then be quiet.
You may be surprised by what comes to you — a thought, a memory, a feeling, a dream or simply a sense of closeness.
You don’t have to explain it or even believe in anything in particular. Sometimes continuing the conversation with someone we love can be comforting in itself.
3. Shake the emotions out of your body
Grief, pain and sadness can feel overwhelming not only emotionally, but physically.
Try putting on some music and gently shaking your body — your hands, arms, shoulders, legs. Let your body move without worrying about what it looks like.
There are forms of therapeutic practice that use shaking and movement to help release physical tension. But you don’t need to turn it into a complicated exercise.
I especially like doing this in the morning, before starting the day.
Because sometimes life doesn’t give us privacy to grieve. We go to work. We meet people. We have responsibilities. And we may find ourselves holding back tears because we don’t want to appear foolish or overly emotional.
But grief after losing a pet is real.
Give your body somewhere for those emotions to go.
4. Create an anchor to your pet
Find something tangible that reminds you of your pet.
It could be a pendant, a photograph, a stone, their tag, or a piece of jewellery. I love creating blessed bracelets for exactly this reason.
Think of it as an anchor.
Something you can touch or look at when you want to feel connected to your pet — a little reminder of the love, protection and bond you shared.
They may no longer be physically beside you, but the relationship doesn’t simply disappear.
5. Practise gratitude — always
Every day, write down five things you are grateful for about your pet.
A ridiculous little habit they had.
The way they looked at you.
Something they taught you.
A moment that still makes you laugh.
The way they loved you.
Grief naturally makes us focus on what we have lost. Gratitude gently brings our attention back to what we had — and still have within us.
There is something incredibly powerful about that shift.
6. Talk to someone who gets it
Sometimes you don’t need advice.
You don’t need coaching.
You don’t need somebody trying to make you feel better.
You simply need someone who gets it.
That’s why speaking to someone who has experienced the loss of a beloved pet can be so comforting.
Not so that you can stay stuck in the grief together, but so that for a moment you can think:
Okay. I’m not crazy. I’m not overreacting. Someone understands why this hurts so much.
Your grief deserves to be acknowledged.
7. Turn your pain into something
This is what I did.
The Luna Deck was born from losing Luna.
Something that caused me enormous pain eventually became something creative, meaningful and filled with love — something I could use to help other people navigate the same kind of loss.
And there is something truly magical about that.
Your pain doesn’t have to become a business or a big project.
Plant something.
Write.
Paint.
Volunteer.
Make a photo album.
Support an animal charity.
Create something in your pet’s name.
Or perhaps their loss is quietly asking you to begin a completely new chapter of your life.
What could that be?
Maybe coping with losing a pet isn’t really about getting over them.
Maybe it’s about a new beginning….
With love,
Sophia
The Luna Deck Here: https://www.sophiacolangelo.com/luna-deck/